her name is nicole

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don’t know what they want

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

His hello was the end of her endings,
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle.
His hand would be hers to hold forever,
His forever was as simple as her smile.

An ocean couldn’t prevent it.
A New York minute wouldn’t let it pass.
Does the universe decide for us,
Which love will fade and which will last.

He said she was what was missing.
She said she instantly new.
She was a question to be answered.
And his answer was “I do.”

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love

what can I say? will this feeling of needing him, constantly thinking of him and wishing I had done things so much different go away?  I like him so much it literally hurts my heart and when I see him he takes any control I have away from me.  it’s amazing what 5 months of an off and on, not really understanding and not realizing what it was about relationship, can fuck up your train of thought and make you in some ways a little psycho.  I guess this is what a broken heart is…sad.  Everything went so fast and now it’s gone.  He’s no good for me, i know.  But it doesn’t stop the fact that in my heart, he will always belong.

I still love him

Well I’m ready to go to bed its been a crazy busy weekend thank goodness its over with … Raenah finally lost her pesky tooth and is waiting for the tooth fairy. Ok that’s all for tonight. Gonna watch meet the robinsons with my raenie and sleep.